This is a special post.
Because it was not written with the intention to write on knowledge management this time. It was written in a personal context.
...and yet, there it is again...
Tonight I did something which made me feel great as a student. I did it a few times a week. A habbit I neglected for more than a decade, but I picked it up again.
Here I am,
sitting in the dark - hence the typing errors in this article -
a great Belgian beverage next to me,
and great music.
The type of music I can feel in every vine of my body,
which touches me, breaks down the walls of reasoning.
And when I close my eyes, every touch of conscioucness is enlarged. I can feel every organ in my body, when I focus on my inner rest, it's an ocean of silence, when I focus on my strength, it sparkles through the universe. It's my type of meditation. Medidating on a subject gives me a good answer.
I get the urge to create, write, compose, live....
And when the dust settles, I'm at ease and relax, and the thought occurred to me: I wasn't a red monkey at university, and I wasn't a sheep.
The last year of telecommunication I went to only two lessons: high frequency and filter techniques. Not because - and that's a common misunderstanding - I wasn't interested in what was given, but why should I spend 2 hours in classes 10 weeks in a raw to get the details of how digital equipment works if i could study it in 2 days?
Why spending 4 hours half a year in a course electrical machines, when I could collect notes from 4 students, make my own notes - and in the meantime sell the courses for the student organisations - and learn those eletrical machines in the process?
There was even a time I went back to classes because I was getting bored not going to classes and making those courses, playing snooker and poker - mom, dad, now you know!
After I got my first degree, I was so lucky I could study further as biomedical and clinical engineer - an additional two years. A very limited group of students, and a higher level. There I went to classes. And I didn't have to ask for additional notes, since I was getting them without asking - students knowing they would get better notes in the process
Than my career of being a student stopped - one of the mistakes in my life was to refuse a doctorate opportunity.
But I wonder, and didn't think about it so far,
what would have been my capabilities at that time,
when instead of skipping school I was challenged for more,
and interesting things?
Because I had two lives: I had the life of a student, and the result of a student. I could accept that the question I got were harder than for the students who did go to classes. It's a bargain I was willing to make. And than there was my other student life: collecting, synthesizing, publishing knowledge - and playing snooker, chess, keyboard - during lesson hours...
Because that was, where my heart is.
Sometimes I'm jealous at my fellow-students, who seemed to be happy with their life. It all made sense and was normal.
Even today I'm jealous at fellow co-workers, doing their job and feeling happy.
I could do the same, a fixed job in a nice company. But only if my heart would be there. When there would be a firm believe in the goal of the company. When I would feel I could really use my potential.
I loved my life as a student.
I love my life as knowledge manager. Helping. Guiding. Innovating. Discovering.
I'm not a red monkey.
Not a sheep.
... a green donkey